


Koi Ponds and Lily Pads; How well can you keep afloat?

by minjazmin



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: (definitely), Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Pretentiousness, Flash Fic, Light Angst, M/M, Other, Restraints, Sexual Tension, Socialites AU, They/Them Pronouns for Will Graham, Will Graham is a Tease, Will is a Mess, Will works for the FBI and Hannibal is probably a murderer, very mild sexual content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:28:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28668492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minjazmin/pseuds/minjazmin
Summary: Will could never bear a party; too many people, too much noise; too much expectation. Sat alone in the garden was the place were Will was the most able to breathe. Through the darkness, he watched the koi race about the blackened waters. Through the darkness, a figure watched and waited for the perfect moment to close in.
Relationships: Will Graham & Hannibal Lecter, Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter
Comments: 6
Kudos: 53
Collections: Hannibal Flash Fic #001, Hannibal Flash Fic Week 1





	Koi Ponds and Lily Pads; How well can you keep afloat?

It was much darker now than when Will had first taken solace on the rickety bridge. Toes hanging over the edge, the leather tips danced with the edge of the water and Will watched the gentle ripples cascading into the abyss. A gentle breeze jostled errant curls; ruining all the hard work which had been taken to tame them by Father for the entirety of the journey to this place. It was always the same. No longer did Will bother with insistent defiance about coming, because no matter how well-formulated the argument somehow here again they would end up. Every two weeks. The silent car rides somehow seemed longer and more laborious each time. 

Will dared not to ask Father if he actually enjoy these events because the answer was never going to be much more than a glossy lie; a quote which might be found printed in a tabloid article. The truth was likely that none of them did, all the painted smiles and false charm directed at Will seemed so obvious, but Will could never quite manage to fake it as well they all did. Will knew the expression; closed lips in a thin line and a constant ‘scowl’ that was the source of many arguments with Father. It was not as if it was angry, from the amount of time spent staring at the mirror (and cursing at whatever new product was being smeared upon endless blemishes) Will knew the look. It wasn’t angry, it wasn’t sad, it wasn’t really anything. Just a face. Just a God-given face. Why should it paint a smile upon it when there was nothing to smile about? 

It had only taken a few months for the courage to strike and to make it this far away from the party. It was easy enough to hide in one of the mansion’s many rooms, but inevitably someone would enter eventually and the small amount of energy which Will clung too would be rapidly drained away. The veranda had been nice until the smokers had decided that, instead of enjoying the gentle buzz of burning herbs, they wanted to speak to the lonesome figure who looked as if they would rather be anyone else. 

After that it was the solace of rolling lawns, but it was impossible to hide from anyone there and it took only minutes before, by the collar, Will was being dragged back inside. The shrubbery to the left of the house had been the most successful spot. Three successive parties had been passed by sitting amongst the foliage and watching the world go by. On the fourth, however, a particularly vicious rose thorn had ripped at the sleeve of a shirt which Will dared not ask the price. Much argument ensued, and the perfect hiding spot was lost. 

This evening Will had wasted no time in slipping away from Father to find a new spot. Summer was approaching and darkness did not encroach upon the grounds so early now; Will took advantage of the half-light of the evening and had ended up here. Concealed behind a thicket of trees on the edge of the undisturbed lake. 

Koi darted back and forth with no concern for the teetering legs; no concern for Will, just as Will wanted it to be. It was quiet and safe and the thoughts that burdened their mind were back in amongst the music and the jeers and the mania that seeped from every window in the house across the way. Though it was distant, it still loomed; an unspoken threat that might bite at any second. Will couldn’t bear to go back to the house. 

The time on the phone screen said 9:14pm. They would not be leaving for home for hours yet. 

Will had been somewhere else, fishing for God-knows how long, when a voice through the darkness brought the real world back into focus. Beyond the bridge and out past the thicket, a tall figure’s face was illuminated by a phone which they were talking into quietly. It was not a language Will could understand, but it was European; something Slavic or Germanic-sounding. With a sigh, the phone was put down. Will stared at the figure, now nothing more than a black shadow amongst other undiscernible forms. 

It seemed that Will’s boring eyes had been noticed by the man and without warning, the figure began to approach. Will’s head darted back to black waters, the golden flecks of the racing koi and the stark white of the lilies, pretending not to have noticed the other person. 

“What kind of person hides in the shadows?” The harsh voice cut through the quiet Will had curated. 

“Aren’t we both hidden in them?” Will replied, head unmoving from the waters below. 

“I am not hidden if I am where I am supposed to be.” 

“Then I am neither,” Will answered bluntly, still taking little notice of the man. 

The figure strode over and sat at the other side of the bridge, a mirror of Will’s image. 

“Not a fan of the false niceties? Or just cannot bear to see your Father so obnoxiously inebriated?” 

“Who are you, exactly?” 

“It does not matter, really. It matters only if I am the same as them or the same as you,” He said with resounding conviction, as if the man already knew exactly who he was and exactly who Will was, and was only waiting for agreement. 

The koi had caught Will’s attention again, one had found the tip of the shoe and was becoming quite irate at its inability to feed from the leather teasing at the surface. 

“How would you know me well enough to know if we are the same?” 

“How would you know me well enough to know we are not?” The voice chimed. 

The exhale that left Will was not only for the benefit of the clearing the thoughts which had come rushing back. It was a purposeful indication that could not be ignored. And yet, the figure did not stir from their ill-gotten seat. 

“I just don’t find you that interesting.” 

“Perhaps if we converse for a while, then we may come to understand each other better.” 

“The matchmaking skills of my Father have proven thus far that conversing does little to reduce my apparent incompatibility with others.” 

“Well, your Father must have failed to find interesting enough people for the likes of yourself.” 

Usually whenever Will heard such words leave people’s mouths, they came with a certain condescension, mockery. It was in the way their lip quivered, the glint in their eye, how quickly they spat out the words. But in the stranger’s steady tongue, it sounded like reverence. As if it were not Will who was at fault, but everybody else. The way he said it made Will wonder if he considered the others as people at all. 

“If they are not interesting, why are you here?” 

“Well, it is not because I was dragged here by my Father, is it?” 

“You are well-to-do, a noble occupation that leads many, with money, into your stead. Even if you could hide from the attention, I doubt you would. But once all the flattery has been dished out, and bonds more tightly knitted than they were before, what reason would you have to stay?” 

Eyes bored into the back of Will’s unmoving skull; Will refused to turn. Willing an answer from him, the eyes would not relent in their gaze. Waiting. Patiently waiting for the final cog to turn in Will’s mind. Will was racing through a million thoughts at once, nothing quite making sense, until - 

“Ah,” Will mistakenly let out. “It’s me.” 

The man hummed in approval at Will’s discovery, and calmly went to take his leave. 

“Finally, you made it to a place I could find you.” 

“Could you not have found me amongst the party?” Will questioned. 

“I would not have been me; and you would not have been you. It seems a shame to waste time when neither of us is wearing our own face,” Quiet words spoke with adoration. 

Will watched their ascent from the bridge which had become home, out of the darkness, onto the lawn and back into the artificial lustre of twinkling lights. The still image burned itself into Will’s mind; nothing else existing but the expanse of water and the bridge, and the two shadowed figures which stood upon it. 

*** 

Two weeks passed, more slowly than they ever had. Father shouted from the bottom of the staircase; stopped in his tracks as Will descended the stairs. They were never on time and it was always Will’s doing. The wrinkles across his forehead furrowed in shock, as he took in the sight of his child. No stains or wrinkles in the suit, no smudged makeup, only a single curl out of place; this was more than suspicious. 

When they arrived, Will’s face was the same as it ever was; thin lines and vacant stares, pretending to listen to inconsequential words uttered over and over. But Father had looked away for too long, the perfect mask which Will had worn was so immaculate in its conviction that it had made his guard slip. Will had run free. And again, Will found themself in the place where safety and peace were the closest they had ever been. 

It was only 8.53pm. Will wondered what time the stranger might appear. Whether they would at all or this was just some game in which Will was a simple pawn. 

Gold and red flecks swarmed to the surface of the pool and disappeared again as the pointed toe of Will’s shoe lured them up. Water lilies had bloomed since the last visit; specks of pink, yellow and cream increasingly prominent against the inescapable black of the lake. 

A low voice approached from the side; it was the same unknown language as before. Lithuanian; Will had read up since their last encounter. The temptation to look further, unmask the shadowed figure, was fought with great resistance. Something about the unknown only acted to tempt Will further in. The man put down the phone and addressed Will. 

“Is it not tiring to sit in the same spot again and again?” 

“Who says this is the same place as it was two weeks previous? You are not the same one moment from the next; neither is any of this.” 

“Am I different today in ways which excite you?” Will knew the man was testing, prodding to see what reactions he might provoke; but Will would answer nothing but honestly. 

“You are different in that the mask slips only when you cross this bridge, but you only have so much control of how much it slips, because -” Will knew, but did not want to say it. 

“Because?” The man goaded. 

“Because of me.” 

“We have spoken before this, you know?” The man asked, undeterred by what Will had considered a downright accusation. 

“I do not remember you.” 

“Remembering and not remembering are all the same when all that you would have to remember is a perfect painted face, which you undoubtedly found boring.” 

“It was a convincing mask, I guess,” Will pondered aloud. 

With a gentle laugh, the figure took his place opposite Will. He rested his legs off the edge of the bridge, just as Will did, and leant back against their arms to watch the sky. More languid and comfortable in Will’s presence than Will ever felt in their own. From their periphery, Will watched one of the hands tap at the old wooden planks of the bridge. Will wondered whether to reach out to the resting hand; only in the last second deciding against it. 

“Tell me, is the reduced dispassion for my emergence a result of something I said? Or is it merely a polite rouse to save face?” 

“Much to the dismay of my father, I am not one for polite rouses. Or saving face.” 

“Which means?” Will could almost hear the smirk in his voice as he said it. 

“I have come to wonder about the creature which lurks within you. As much as you do me.” 

“I doubt you just wonder. What is it that you see?” 

“Whatever profession you work in – you do so because of the acclaim it gives you, but you do not care about the impact that it has on the people you work with. No, you care that said impact does well to aggrandize your name,” Will took a considered breath and continued hesitantly. “There is something else which you do... a hobby of sorts, which you feel better defines who you are. Why you are.” 

“What a cunning thing you are.” 

“It is my job to infer that kind of thing.” 

“Oh, I know,” He stated, and Will wondered how much he knew. “Regretfully, I cannot stay longer. Business with which I must attend.” 

“Wait - at least tell me your name.” 

“What judgements would you make from a name? Unnecessary thoughts that reflect nothing true about the bearer,” The voice said. “How about we provide each other names which ring truer?” 

“What name would you give me then?” Will asked. 

The man jumped to reply, as if it was not even something he needed to think about. 

“Lily; your presence amongst the dark at first seems peculiar, ill-placed. And yet, you are just where you are supposed to be. Your rightful place, shining through the dark. You would expect a water lily sat high and remarkable above even the murkiest of waters; even if its beauty should seem so alien amongst the flowing depravity.” 

Will frowned, unsure for a moment. Then through the darkness glimmering scales illuminated the confusion in their mind. 

“Koi,” Will uttered as if it were a prayer. “You creep in the darkness, never quite willing to reveal yourself, not completely anyway. But the viewer is incapable of looking away for each new move might divulge something new; it’s a wonder they don’t peer too far over the edge and fall beneath the depths.” 

“I wonder, does my Lily know how to stay afloat?” 

Before Will could answer, the shadow was walking back towards the house. Will looked again to the black water below; squinting in an attempt to see what hid in its depths. Did it matter if Will could swim; would the destination not be the same regardless? 

*** 

It was the night before the party and Will’s mind raced. Usually so pre-occupied with work and whatever new fear had come to linger at the bounds of their mind. But now, now any thought came back to one singular thing. As thick, dark lashes pressed together finally, the last figure Will saw was a dark and familiar silhouette painted on their inner eyelids. 

Will sat upon a lily pad; the expanse upon which it floated so vast land could not be seen from any direction. It was sunny; pitching down upon the lonesome figure cruelly. Will felt exposed and undefended; the light cast down its judgement and gave no opening for rebuttal. Will was seen, not for who they were, but for who everyone thought they were. The image that was created from the reflection of the sun was not the same as the light which Will could cast. 

It became all too much; desperate hands over fastened-shut eyes did little to stop the light from pouring in. 

Then, as if to answer unspoken prayers, it grew dark. Dark and cold and glorious. Will soaked in all the peace that the familiar darkness gave. Still, they felt exposed by the white of their blouse, the yellow of their skirt, the pink of their cheeks; they positively glowed through the darkness. But Will was alone, finally alone, and comfortable enough that they came to lay restfully with their head facing the sky above. The stars were not stars at all, but the twinkling of fish scales cascading across the inky night. 

From nowhere a dark mass emerged from the depths settling a harsh, gruelling weight against every part of Will’s body. The lily pad destroyed and no hope of reaching dry land; Will could only flounder among the waves as black distended arms took hold. All was lost to Will’s eyes except a black fog as they drew further and further from the surface. Every piece of clothing was drenched, another weight against their hopelessly flailing body. One final breath and Will let go, let the pool take all it could, let everything turned to a murky haze of nothing. 

After a moment of pitch-black breathlessness, Will found that death had not taken hold. That despite being submerged, breath came easily. Hesitant eyes opened; the form that surrounded him, that clung to him with desperate hands was not Death nor Judgement nor the icy cold of lake water. Its form was unmistakeable. The shadowed silhouette Will had come to know so well; the shape of the Koi. My Koi, Will’s own voice rang out through the eternal darkness. The arms that wrapped around pulled them both deeper and deeper. Will was not alone, not dying at all; together in the darkness they had found each other. The Koi was taking them where they were supposed to be. 

Will’s eyes fluttered open; back to the boring reality of a disorderly bedroom. Something twisted in the pit of Will’s stomach; head filled with images of a ceaseless embrace. An ache deep within willed the dream back; the tight grip, breathlessness, devouring and being devoured. 

*** 

“I dreamt of you last night.” 

Will wondered why the man’s very presence made them want to admit such a thing. 

“What is it that you saw?” The Koi asked, seemingly unsurprised by the revelation. 

“I saw behind the mask; and... I saw myself.” 

“And how did that make you feel?” 

“More scared than I ever had,” Will whispered. “And more alive.” 

“I wish to show it all to you in time. If you let me.” 

A silence fell between them; Will saw it as a mutual understanding that needed no further words, yet something scratched at their brain, the need to assert how they felt too. 

“If you do not, I will pull back the layers myself.” 

The Koi laughed; he seemed quite contented at such the threat. 

*** 

Will’s brain had been permeated with the Koi; turned to nothing more than a fishbowl in which he could swim freely around. Will wondered if he felt like this; if he too had had every thought plagued by their entanglement. Will hoped he did. 

The suit Will wore was a dark blue with a paisley pattern embroidered into it. The colour always did well to highlight the turquoise shades that hid in their eyes. It hardly mattered though, the realm upon which the Koi and the Lily met was far beyond the physical bounds. Still, it was nice to look nice. 

As Will’s father jested about the sudden upkeep of appearances, Will did all it took to ignore the insistence of his quips. Finally, the car arrived at the party and they departed. The usual tour took place and as soon as it was possible, Will made the escape. 

The path down was quiet as usual and Will got comfortable in the spot they had come to know well. The koi below were usually a nice distraction from the music pounding in the distance, but now Will was unable to contain it all. It was a hard-fought effort, but eventually that peaceful place that existed deep within their mind was found again. Will fished; the Koi stood on the bank, watching his every move. 

It was 10.52pm when Will’s bubble burst; popped by a particular loud firework which the party had decided to set off. 

Will wanted to pretend that the dark and the quiet of this little place did not suddenly sting at every nerve. 

Betrayal was beginning to bubble in every vessel, every pore, Will could feel it consuming. What was the point in letting yourself open up if the result was this? A tear ran down the pale cheek; it brimmed with anger, but the regret and the pain followed close behind. 

Will wondered if it was time to go; to insist to Father that they’d fallen sick and needed to leave. But Will did not want to miss him, it felt pitiful to admit it. Will couldn’t be the one who had missed the Koi; they wanted responsibility to lie with him solely for this. 

It was 12.20am. 

He wasn’t coming. Maybe he had never intended to. The fun might have been in the luring; now Will was reeled in there was nothing left for the Koi to play with. Forehead resting against one of the rails, Will swung and hit their head against the hard wood. The hit rung through their thoughts dully; not even close to drowning out the thoughts which already occupied the space. 

It had been foolish to think that this would be any different from any other time before. It hurt Will more to think that the delusion had been so sweet that they had allowed themself to sink into it. Maybe they could have seen the parts of the Koi which were intentionally hidden if not so blinded by the feelings that had overtaken reason. 

The black pool glimmered. A pebble smashed against its smooth surface, rippling and thrashing every inch of its once perfect facade. Will’s head ached, and not only from the beating they had just given it. Someone in the house was bound to have aspirin; Will got up. 

Will left the bridge. Father would start looking soon and Will couldn’t bear to lose such a spot. 

*** 

Two weeks passed, Will was only plagued by the man when he let him in. It was easier to look at the back of their eyelids and imagine nothing. Easier, or more accurately, less painful to do so. Will wondered if it was even worth sitting across the bridge again, wondered if loss might be all that would join them for the night. But the music and the people and the expectations from within the house had not removed themselves just because the man had. Pain was easier to navigate than societal expectation. 

No phone call gave away the man’s presence today, but it was not needed; Will could feel him coming from a mile off. Will was not even looking at the pond below; just out to the indecipherable darkness beyond. 

“I - I was predisposed last week, forgive me, my Lily,” Uncharacteristic hesitation dripped from his voice. 

“What is there to forgive? You do not owe me anything. Much less an explanation,” Will regretted how hurt the words sounded as they came out. 

“It is not about what I owe you, it is about what you deserve. It was never my intention. Not to do that to you.” 

After only a moment, the Koi slinked across the bridge and back to his normal position. Will had nothing to say. A hand came to rest upon Will’s own. Will couldn’t bear to push it away. They interlocked their fingers amongst the man’s own; no way left to escape. The warmth of their hands was a suffocating comfort which Will would be lost without. 

“You let me in, my Koi,” Will muttered. “The time for running has passed you.” 

“I doubt you would let me far.” 

Will was satisfied with that. Slowly, their faces pulled closer; a magnetic and unavoidable pull until their lips met. Possessive teeth bit at each other in a messy, open-mouthed kiss. Soft moans left both of their mouths as their hands began to explore what they had so been longing to touch. They pressed against each other as if letting any space between them would be too much to bear. Will found a spot upon the man’s thigh which drew out needy moans from him; he was keening into the biting grip and Will saw their own obsession mirrored within him. The man began to rut against Will’s palm; reckless abandon for the well-preserved imago he had created for himself. Will had been infected by the man’s darkness, but he too was now changed; nothing without Will. 

And then Will pulled away, revelling at the open-mouthed pants which the man before him had been reduced to. 

“Pass me your tie,” Will said casually. 

“I beg your pardon,” Recognition in the man’s eyes; fear and arousal side-by-side. 

Will only cleared their throat; he had heard and he would comply, that much was obvious. The Koi did so, pulling the red, silken thing quickly over his head. As he passed it to Will, for the first time since they had met, their eyes met too. In the infinite darkness hardly a feature could be made out, but the far-off lights glimmered in the pools of their irises as they consumed each other. 

“Close your eyes, my Koi, and do not open them until I say so.” 

The Koi only nodded, making no protest when Will took hold of both wrists and guided them around the wooden rails of the fence closest to Will’s seat. Will wound the ends together tightly; an improvised blood knot binding the wrists in place. The Koi grunted at the force, but said nothing. Will stepped back to admire their work; surprised at how right it felt to see him bound where Will had once sat. 

Slowly, Will undid their own tie. It was a nice fabric, but nothing compared to the silk now binding the man’s wrists. Gently, Will placed the material over the Koi’s peaceful eyes and fastened it at the back. The man’s face was somewhere between bloody anger and feverish exhilaration; Will could only imagine what he might do if he were not bound. 

“Where did your forgiveness go, my Lily?” 

“Oh, I have certainly forgiven you. I just thought it right that you too be left in the dark.” 

“Righteousness was never more beautiful than by your hands.” 

Will moved to straddle the man and press soft lips against the bound man’s own. Holding them together patient and waiting, it took only moments before the Koi tilted up his head to press their lips together, wanting again the passion they had just shared. Will gave him only a singular moment to take what he wanted; to rut against Will’s body, to wet Will’s lips with his tongue, to bite and to take. 

And then the cold space between them returned; Will raised up off of the man and was gone. 

"You wish to show me yourself, and I wish to show you myself too. But not now,” Will spoke with a conviction that scared themself. “You made me wait, now you too shall wait, my Koi. I hope we shall see each other again soon.” 

Will knew it would not take much for the man to free himself, and wondered if it might be worth waiting to watch the inevitable struggle. It would no doubt be a sight to revel in. But Will knew there would be time to revel again; when the stage was properly lit and when no eyes but the Lily’s could gaze upon their Koi. 

*** 

Father had not quieted since they arrived; Will was hardly listening. A force pulled and pulled from this busy place and out across to the lake. But with the firm grip on their shoulder and guiding them around the room, Will knew it would be a long while before Father was done with this abhorrent affair. Courteous pleasantries were exchanged over and over until Will's head was pounding and their breath was failing not to give out. 

"Ah, there he is. There." 

Will was being pushed now with all the force their father could muster. Until they stopped before a dignified figure, suited well-tailored and not a hair out place. Will hardly bothered to look up. 

"This is who I was telling you about, Will, the one who sent the calling card for you." 

Will could not even remember Father mentioning a calling card - this was far from the first time not listening as he had mumbled on. Will extended a polite hand. Instead of just taking the hand as Will had expected, in it he placed a long piece of fabric. Dark blue and paisley patterned. 

"It is a pleasure to meet you, at last." 

The voice. His voice, the same one he heard when he drifted away from reality, the one he dreamt of, the only voice that reached him on the bridge. But he did not continue speaking again until Will's blue irises met his own; more striking against the dark fabric they held in equal share. 

"I am Doctor Hannibal Lecter." 

"Will Graham," Will replied. "The pleasure is mine." 

And for once, Will did not have to lie. Did not have to feign an interest to appease Father. 

Dark eyes bore deep into Will's skull, down to the very deepest parts of the psyche. Will could not look away, transfixed by murky eyes flecked with red and orange and white and green. They could not see anything but each other. 

The Koi had found his Lily. The Koi was Will's. They were each other's dark abyss.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed the fic :)


End file.
